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Passing sailboat on Elliot Bay |
Every time I look at my schedule on my phone these days I am gripped with panic. I have deadlines to meet and time is refusing to stand still. So much of what I have to do depending on good weather, decent physical and mental strength and the time to allow paint to dry. The list of what is left to do is by my reckoning so incredibly long. I've been replaying and planning what I have to do in my head since November and during those long cold months was unable to move forward on any of it at all.
There is a berth to install, interior accoutrements to purchase, the aforementioned painting and varnishing. Once that's done I need to replace the official stickers that had to come off for the repaint and while I'd like to think that's the easiest bit bureaucracy is seldom easy. The trailer needs goal posts, my towing vehicles need electrics looked at and I still have to purchase my Idaho state invasive species permit sticker.
Don't get me started on the Palozoa stuff. And my anchoring system is still a napkin drawing. So there are moments when I have no idea where to go. When it's a cascade of things I could do but need to 'get that done before that' it quickly becomes overwhelming and disheartening. Because "I need to" becomes "But that first" becomes "Then what?" becomes inaction. Analysis paralysis because nothing can get done because everything must be done. And the person to get it done is you with others depending on that final glorious finish And throughout all of this the clock is not stopping.
At these times, which are more frequent then ever this late spring, I am acutely aware of my inaction. Of being frozen on the outside while my internal monologue is everything but still. At these times the only reaction to inaction is action if anything is to be done. Once the wall has been hit, it's time to go through it.
Today The Lady was at the "Do you want solutions or venting?" stage as I tried to explain where my head was at. I replied I didn't know, clicking a tool in my hand absentmindedly as the cascade of needs vs. the available time went to war in my head. The obvious answer was the system I was working on, the paint/varnish system was at a stalemate. "Well pick another system" came the answer. That broke the mental dam and work resumed. On the rudder and tiller, which was not in anyway affected by the current inability to continue the other work at hand.
When all was said and done we got the rudder stock half repainted, the hardware out of the tiller and rudder, the tiller varnished and a clear goal of what was needed to finish the work. With the remainder now drying in the sun but rain on the way I'm further ahead then I would have been otherwise. And that is a win.
Sometimes the hardest thing is the easiest. But with the ability to recognize where you've been and where you now stand, the ability to take take the next step and where may well show itself. "Do something!" is a rallying cry to get stuff done. Because even if you're overwhelmed with what needs doing, at least you know what needs doing. And you can get it done.